INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
By Stephen D'Antal in Auckland, New Zealand British backpacker Grace Millane gave a list of her sex fetishes to a man she met on a BDSM
dating website, her murder trial has heard.Just months before she was killed during a Tinder date, the university graduate from Essex
spelled out exactly what she wanted to learn, including bondage, electrical nerve stimulation and "breathplay" using a gas mask.The man gave
a statement to New Zealand police which was read to the jury at Auckland High Court after they were told he has refused to cooperate with
defence lawyers.He described Miss Millane, 21, as "naive and trusting" after she contacted him via the Whiplr website for BDSM enthusiasts
in the summer of 2018, just before she left Britain on a worldwide adventure.She told him her interest in BDSM began with a past boyfriend
but he said she was still quite naive and, unusually, used her full name on another messaging app they had used.Image:Grace Millane was seen
entering a hotel after her date with the manThe man, whose identity is protected, told police: "Grace told me she was interested in
everything to do with BDSM and her main area of interest was restraint."In Grace's Whiplr profile she outlined her sub kink interests as:
giving full control, sounds, accessories, restraints, control and massages."I can't remember discussing any specific BDSM interests with
Grace in detail but I think she was into Daddy Dom."I think Grace was at an explorative stage and quite open to suggestions
Grace seemed quite keen to know what things were and what sort of things I owned pertaining to BDSM."They had planned to meet for a drink
but she had changed her mind, he said."BDSM probably became more popular after 50 Shades of Grey but that is more the soft end of BDSM," he
"I don't recall if Grace ever mentioned 50 Shades of Grey
I felt like Grace was more naive and trusting in the BDSM area.Image:A 27-year-old New Zealander denied murdering the British
backpacker"When you're using these apps, the users do not have to provide any details at all so you have to be aware
The users could be any undesirable person online and Grace seemed to have a naivety."The court has already heard from Miss Millane's former
partner, who said they had an established practice of choking using safe words and "tapping out" which meant it had never put her in
danger.A 27-year-old man is on trial accused of Miss Millane's murder on 1 December last year, the night before her 22nd birthday, after a
night of heavy drinking which ended in his hotel room.The man, whose identity is also protected, denies murder, claiming Miss Millane died
accidentally after asking him to apply pressure to her neck.In a police interview, however, said he was unaware she had died until he found
her on the floor the next morning.He admits disposing of her body in a suitcase he buried in the woods.The jury today also heard from sexual
culture and pornography expert Professor Clarissa Smith from the University of Sunderland.Image:Grace Millane's parents David and Gillian
have watched the trial in AucklandSpeaking via a video link, she said erotic asphyxiation, like other forms of BDSM, was becoming a more
mainstream interest for young people following the 50 Shades of Grey book, which has sold 125 million copies.She described it as "a form of
play that practitioners call edge play"."It makes the heart race, makes the skin tingle, had very significant elements of feeling powerless
and offers lightheadedness and exhilaration."But she added: "It's very important that consent is given."She told the court younger women
were increasingly open about sexuality and saying what they wanted and that "hook up" apps were part of "a gamification of dating and
sexuality"."We are no longer living in the era of 'lay back and think of England'," she said.Another witness told the trial he and Miss
Millane had slept together the night before she died after meeting at the backpackers' hostel where she was staying.The man, who name is
suppressed, said they went to McDonalds before going to his house to watch a movie, then had sex.He said he may have held her around the
neck during sex but not at her request, adding that it was something he had "potentially" done because it was a habit of his "because girls
usually enjoy it".The defence has closed its case, with the defendant choosing not to give evidence
Prosecution and defence will give closing speeches on Thursday before the judge sums up on Friday.The trial continues.
