INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
Keegan WaldenContributor
Keegan Walden, Ph.D, is the Co-founder - COO of Torch, a leadership development software platform
He is also a psychologist with a B.A
from Yale University and a Ph.D
from Northwestern University
a venture-backed startup, we live our professional lives under similar strain
I think he creates more unnecessary conflict, he thinks I avoid conflict and let problems escalate
We both have a point.As with many romantic couples, the co-founder relationship is a forum in which old patterns reemerge disguised as basic
questions.Our patterns run through questions about our company
How should our product evolve? When should we raise our next fundraising round? Should we let our team work remotely? Each question is a
litmus test revealing both our wisdom and our insecurities
Without high degrees of self-awareness on both our parts, the resulting conversation can devolve into a cold war
So, we go to co-founder therapy to stay aligned.Here are three pitfalls that co-founder therapy has taught me to avoid:Being the good cop
My co-founder is an instinctive, emotional leader with a keen sense of strategic direction
He becomes animated and aggressive, confronting other leaders and provoking action
I prefer to work with them, to help them see past his reactive exterior, to understand his underlying intentions and motivations
I have a harder time working with him
I dislike conflict and when my co-founder is upset I can let my conflict aversion prevent me from giving him hard feedback on the downside
Our therapist helped me realize that by not giving this feedback, I was failing to uphold my end of the co-founder bargain
Co-founders need to balance each other
