INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
Let say, hypothetically, that you make a mobile operating system, and somewhere along the line, you decided whimsically to name major
updates after alphabetical dessert foods
What a fun idea!
Sure, some letters will prove harder than others
K& and &O& are admittedly tough, but that nothing that little bit of clever cross-branding can''t fix
Who doesn''t love a good Kit-Kat or Oreo (Don''t @ me.) Others, however, will be simple
In fact, some letters will be such an embarrassment of riches
There are a ridiculous number of options for the consonant
So, naturally, Google went with the most boring one possible
It sounds more like a rejected Philip K
Dick manuscript than mobile operating system
If this was Android 3.14, maybe, sure
The nerd jokes are just way to strong not to go all-in
But Slices jokes aside, Android 9.0 Pie feels like a missed opportunity
It seems possible that a licensing deal fell through last minute, leaving the company to settle on cake lesser cousin.
Sure, it too late to
make suggestions, and honestly, Google never really listens to us in the first place, but here are a few belated replacements for the
Popsicle: This one seemed to be the front runner
In fact, the company appeared to tease in an early release of wallpaper
Popsicle would have been the perfect, colorful name for a summer OS release
Of course, there are two issues here
First, believe it or not, the name is still a trademark
Second, the name is hardly universal outside of North America
Those cold things on a stick are alternately (and incredibly delightfully) known as ice pops, freezer pops, ice lollies, ice blocks, icy
poles ands ice drops, according to the always-correct editors of Wikipedia
Pez: Another trademarked name, of course, holy moly, imagine the marketing on this one
Pop Rocks: Ditto, but totally worth is for all the free packets of Pop Rocks we&d be getting from Google events for the next year.
Popcorn:
Okay, kind of boring and a borderline dessert food at best, but still more fun than Pie.
Pecan, Pumpkin Pie: A little alliteration goes a
long way.
Parfait: A delicious, refreshing summer treat, Also, everyone loves France! (Again, don''t @ me.)
Pop-Tart: Or, if you prefer to
keep it in the States, nothing says &America& quite like a mass produced, foil wrapped frosted breakfast pastry from Kellogg&s.
Peppermint
Patty: A delicious treat and an iconic supportingPeanuts cast member Yes, please
Pudding: Sweet, gelatinous, sometimes found in pop-form
If that doesn''t say mobile operating system, what does
Poundcake: Cake is better than Pie
I&m not backing down on this one
Pancake: Okay, more of a breakfast food, but crepes count, right
Phish Food: Google been taking jam band enthusiasts for granted for far
And besides, Ben Jerry never met a cross promotion they didn''t like
Pastry: Simple, elegant, slightly better than Pie
Peanut Brittle: Okay, fine, maybe Pie better than this one
You win this round, Google.
There also Petit Four, though these bite-sized French cakes actually served as the internal code name for
