INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
Are you trying to stay off social media, but just can''t seem to stop yourself from posting
When random thoughts pop into your head, do you
find yourself launching Twitter and typing before you remember you&re trying to quit
Well, now there a better way.
Hello, Brizzly.
Brizzly
is a revolutionary new app designed just for social media quitters.
With Brizzly, you can satisfy your over-sharing urges with its
all-natural social media substitute.
It just like the real thing!
There a website! A cute logo with a cartoon bear! A text input box!
All
you have to do is type what you&re thinking and hit SEND.
It that easy!
No more late-night cravings!
No more dopamine withdrawals!
No more
oops-I-shouldn''t-have-tweeted-that-before-boarding-an-airplane regrets!
With Brizzly, you can enjoy all the benefits of social media
without any of the downsides.
No begging for favs and retweets
No notifications blowing up your phone.
No stalkers! No bots! No spam! No Russian hackers!
No fighting! No bigotry! No harassment!
No abuse
reports that do nothing!
No low-IQ basement dwellers arguing about the validity of historical facts!
And best of all, no Alex Jones!
Can you
believe it It really works! Post for yourself and see how easy it is to feel like you shared!
And all this without any of the repercussions
that come from supporting platforms that turn a blind eye to the mess they&ve created with their ridiculous and naive policies!
I&ve been
using Brizzly for a whole hour now, and I can tell you it works!
You can scratch that itch to share something no one cares about — what
you had for lunch, your dumb political opinions, what you&re doing RIGHT NOW — and get back to your life
In seconds!
Brizzly works on any device — it just a website!
It live now and entirely free!
What are you waiting for
so… I bought
https://t.co/RknyHLZOWy back.
mdash; Jason Shellen (@shellen) August 21, 2018
* Footnote, for the thoroughly confused:
This is a joke, but
Brizzly was a startup back in the day that served as a third-party Twitter client.The app launched in 2009from the team atThing Labs,
founded by Jason Shellen, most recently, head of Platform at Slack
Shellen has been involved with social apps for years
He co-founded and sold Hike Labs to Pinterest; worked with Blogger before its acquisition by Google; and is still well-known as the founding
He began Thing Labs after leaving Google, where Brizzly was created
AOL bought Thing Labs, and he ended up working there on the rebranding of AIM
Shellen today tweeted he bought back Brizzly, which he turned it into this silly website for now.
The posts really do go nowhere — it not
The code is just a form reset.
Shellen tells us he may end up using the Brizzly domain for something else in the future — he has a few
ideas — but is nowhere close to launching anything at present.
